Interesting people, effective music.

Recently, music has started to affect me in a big way. I've always been a music lover, yes, but I've always zoomed on one thing or another and have forgotten about everything else. The other day I stumbled upon an index called "500 greatest songs by Luca" which is probably amazingly illegal, but had a lot of great songs on it. Upon listening to some of them, I realized that the music we have now is nowhere near as thoughtful nor as well organized and beautiful as some of the music from previous decades is that has stood the test of time. I don't really understand the whole emo movement that's going on right now where every song sounds the same, using almost the same three power chords each time. Is music, as is all other things, moving toward a purely commercial direction? Where are the deep thinkers with the beautiful ideas and amazing musical composition skills? Was it only the drugs they were taking talking?

I've been reading up on some popular artists that I've kind of overlooked due to my own prejudices or simply for the fact that I tend to shy away from what's popular to the mainstream simply because the mainstream lets a lot of really horrible things succeed. Some of the music everybody and their mother obsesses over I've found difficult to get interested in, for example, and I'm going to get beat down for saying this, but I've never really been interested in the Beatles. Sure, they have some good songs, but I've always felt like I've missed the point.

That all being said, I've been reading up on Eric Clapton. Mostly, just things on wikipedia. But, I never knew a lot of the background of his music before because I was never really interested. To be honest, the only reason I wondered why he was such a phenomenon is because of Ryuichi Ogata's (緒方龍一) deep interest in him. Being that Ryuichi Ogata is a member of a Japanese boyband, it kind of contradicts my claim that I can't get into things that are in the mainstream. Let me specify by saying that I only meant EXTREMELY current American mainstream emo-punk-rock. That's specific enough.

Anyway, I never knew that Clapton lived such an intense life, nor that he had such close ties to the Beatles. The song "Layla" was in fact written about George Harrison's wife with whom Clapton had fallen in love. Knowing that and going back to listen to the song, you can hear the emotion and the tension behind it. THAT, is my point. People claim to have these emotions and feelings and thoughts, but nothing stands out. NOTHING is captivating. It all sounds the same. It's all marketable. Clapton was also on drugs during that time, so maybe that's key, but I doubt it. He was also in a ton of bands, and is an all over impressive guy know that I know more about him.

I'm not saying that there is no good music out there now, it's just so hard to find. If you happen to stumble upon this entry, give me your recommendations for what you think is really good, contemporary music. Even if it's months from the entry date.

Meeting and Parting, Coming and going.

As I went down the hill along the wall
There was a gate I had leaned at for the view
And had just turned from when I first saw you
As you came up the hill. We met. But all
We did that day was mingle great and small
Footprints in summer dust as if we drew
The figure of our being less that two
But more than one as yet. Your parasol
Pointed the decimal off with one deep thrust.
And all the time we talked you seemed to see
Something down there to smile at in the dust.
(Oh, it was without prejudice to me!)
Afterward I went past what you had passed
Before we met and you what I had passed.¹

For the first time ever, the current path of my life has never been more clear to me. I would say "nor has it ever been so scary", but that's not true. I know what I need to do right now, and no matter how it turns out, I will have to go from there. For now, just being able to focus on the present is wonderful since I've always had the tendency to be thinking about how the present will be affecting me years from now, thus adding unnecessary stress to whatever situation with which I might be dealing.

I remember last year I had already damned myself to a career path that I knew I wasn't going to enjoy, yet had not the knowledge nor the courage to change it. If I had continued on that path, I would have graduated with a degree in that field and continued life being a miserable mess. It is amazing how much my life has changed in a year, and even more amazing how much it has changed within the last four years. I've done things that I would have never have done before, made incredibly close bonds with people, learned how to get through tough situations and stand on my own two feet. I've learned how to not let people push me around, and I've learned what it means to have people truly care about you. I may not have become especially good or the best at any one subject, but I've really learned a lot and can definitely say that these past few years have been a truly enriching experience in my development as an individual.

That being said, a lot of people might not like who I am now because I'm not at all likely to sugarcoat things or protect anyone's feelings. But, I think that if the truth is too hard to handle, you should do something about it to make reality more pleasant. Truth doesn't always have to retain the same value, and there are numerous ways of fixing things.

Anyway, I'm excited that I'm going to be going to Japan after all. I am scared and worried about it, but I'm sure I'll be fine once all of my questions are answered. I won't actually believe it until I get off the plane, and then I will ask myself "how did a girl from Italy Valley end up all the way on the other side of the Earth?"

And I will know the credit belongs to nobody but me. I know it's kind of egotistical to say something like that, but what a great feeling!

---

¹Robert Frost, Meeting and Passing

My terrible Macbook.

With the biggest shopping day of the year coming up tomorrow, I figure what better time than now to discuss this matter.

I purchased my Macbook about a year ago in September and was thrilled with it. It had a lot of cool features, and its operating system had a lot of features that windows didn't. However, about 2 months later, I had an adapter problem and decided that I was going to fork over the extra couple hundred dollars to get an Apple Care plan. A few months after that, my machine developed the flicker that can be seen here. This is not my machine, but my machine has the exact same problem.

Now, I'd like to point out that my $400 HP laptop had a complete motherboard failure 6 months after its purchase. However, the customer service was amazing and they had it repaired in no time. Apple's customer service is AWFUL. In order to have anything done with your computer, you have to set up an appointment with a Genius over the phone, then cart yourself and your computer to the store and deal with these snarky jerks with over-inflated egos who are apparently the next up and coming Steve Jobs and have no time to deal. And don't you dare try to speak to one without an appointment! They have no time for you little people.

Just two days ago, my $1200 macbook developed yet another issue. Now when the battery nears fully charged, the adapter light flashes back and forth from green to orange, and the battery status goes from "charging" to "fully charged" over and over. This too seems to be a normal problem, and I'm going to need to get my computer looked at by a wonderful Genius so I can potentially get a new battery. Lovely. How about making a product that works.

And that $400 HP laptop? Still running. Could use some RAM and a little TLC, but after 4 years, I think that's pretty impressive.

I don't think I'll ever buy another Macintosh computer.

Ready to move foward.

I'm pretty much ready to get out of Albany forever. The things that I felt attached to here, I'm no longer attached to, and there isn't enough time to make new things happen. I need something new, and I'm hoping that the universe or whatever force there is out there is with me on that fact.

Anyway, I finally got a flickr account, so if you want to see some of my photos, go here: Clicky.

Senoritis?

I really don't have the ambition to study whatsoever. Right now I have this whole "Well, I can fail this, as long as I pass THAT" sort of attitude, and it's not really productive. I'm just tired of school, I guess.

There is a photography contest I kind of want to enter, but there are already thousands of participants and my photography is really, really amateur compared to some of the submissions. Maybe because I am an amateur, oh snap. I might as well try, first prize is a $1000 scholarship or $1000, so that'd be cool.

I've been working on a song on piano, but since I can't really play piano, it's coming slowly. AMATEUR.

I should probably continue to study for nihong0z. This blog is utterly useless.