The things I've learned today...

I've been an English conversation teacher here in Japan for over a year now. The purpose of my job is obviously to help my clients improve their speaking skills and introduce new vocabulary and phrases which will allow them to express themselves more easily, but more than that, I have to be somewhat of an ambassador for my country and cultural beliefs. While teaching a language that seems to make up rules as it goes along isn't easy, let me tell you, explaining and/or defending WHY your fellow countrymen do the things they do is far more challenging.

There is one particular person I'm thinking about when I write this. I've named him "old man", not to be derogatory about his age, but based on the fact that he's incredibly proud to be a member of the "old generation" of Japanese citizens, a group of people dedicated to hard work and the protection of the pre-war, traditional Japanese values.

This client has been a challenging one for me because he firmly believes that a woman's place is in the kitchen or birthing children (or in an ideal situation, possibly both at the same time) and that women who aren't beautiful have no value. He also made it clear that he was an advocate for a pure Japanese society free from the mixture of foreign blood, languages, and customs (despite his taking English lessons with native speakers). When I breached the idea that maybe persons of Korean heritage that had been born in Japan and only spoke Japanese were perhaps Japanese despite his referral to them as "koreans living in Japan", he angrily exclaimed "One language, one people, one Japan", slamming his fist on the desk for dramatic effect.

I don't want to give the wrong idea about ALL Japanese, or even all OLDER Japanese people; these could be just this one person's beliefs. His constant and open struggle, however, deals with the ever-growing age gap in Japanese society and how to deal with a Japan that becomes more and more Westernized with each passing day. He, and I'm sure many people his age, don't understand the behavior of his nation's young people. Older people around the world face this struggle, but for some reason it's much more palpable in Japan.

In the past, this man has taken lessons with me over and over again in a distinct effort to push my buttons and perhaps make me angry. Admittedly, it's worked a few times. One of those times was when he told me that because of my gender, age, and my race, that I was worthless. While I remained professional, I was disgusted inside. I had no desire to ever speak with him again. He may have sensed this, because for a long time after, I didn't hear from him again.

Recently, he started taking my lesson again, and for some reason, it seems like he's quite a bit lighter. He still wants to discuss controversial topics, but today during our conversation about American fashion, I explained to him that the life portrayed in popular American dramas and movies in which arrogant men and women wear beautiful, stylish clothing and have fabulous lives aren't really a good example of everyday, walking American life. I explained to him that while those sorts of people DO exist, the majority of America's wealth is only owned by 1% of its people, leaving the rest of its people to be "comfortable", scrambling to make ends meet, or flat out poor. He finally muttered words I thought I'd never hear:

"Maybe...my image of America is wrong."

To most people, this wouldn't seem like such a huge deal. But, for me, it showed me that no matter how "old" we are, we're always going to be learning. We always have to keep an open mind, because we never know whether or not the things we've been told all our lives have actually been misconceptions, lies spread by our governments, or what have you.

Coming to Japan, I've learned things about many different cultures and realized that I had absolutely no understanding of the world nor its people. I also realized that the way other countries were presented to me by American news were often incorrect. I often have conversations with my parents, who live in fear of my proximity to Korea thanks to the constant scapegoating of the bored US media, in which I try to explain to them that what they are seeing isn't the full truth. I can't tell them what that full truth IS however, because I haven't seen it with my own eyes. Honestly, though, I don't really think anyone can fully understand another culture unless they were born into it.

But, we can try.

If we try, we can progress.

We don't always have to understand. We just have to agree to disagree.

And we should always question everything.

And that's what I learned from my student today.